THE SPORT FUTILITY VEHICLE TANGO

(Laminate, paste on shower wall, sing it for yourself! Do not sing while driving. Not in the shower. Only on the phone. In the shower. Or while driving.)

(I Like to Be in America)
I like to drive in America
I like to thrive in America
I'm so alive in America
Polluting more than Eric and Erica

(Why Can't We Be Friends?)
What would Jesus Drive to arrive alive
He'd go 55 in some hybrid jive

(8 miles high)
Eight feet high.enough to look down
On mere mortals driving their mere cars
When they grow up tall like my Suburban Assault,
We'll build SUV's up to the stars

(Imagine)
You may say I'm a dreamer
Cause I visualize emphysema

(12 days of Christmas)
7 SUV's a-swarming
Cause global warming
Melting polar ice caps
Raising - oceans - perhaps
But while your fuel efficient mini-car's mired in the mud
My S.U.V. will rise above the flood

(I Like to Be in America)
I live for the biggest vehicles
Spiffy unsustainable vehicles
Gimmee the best brand, no Generica
Though it leads to global Guernica

(Auld Lang Syne)
Admittedly my S.U.V. will cause us all to roast
But it'll only take a day to drive from coast to coast