Nicaragua Rescue

No one is safe in Nicaragua, especially the inhabitants.

A lot of people laugh when you bring up the domino theory. But this is no ordinary game of dominoes that the Communists are playing in the Central part of Our America. The Cubist-style rulers in Managua refuse to tell us the order in which the dominoes will fall. They are playing Russian Roulette. So we will not play their game. We will continue to play the only game we know: Monopoly.

We know that the Sandinites are exporting revolution. The only person who does not know this is David MacMichael, a former CIA analyst in Central America. He came to his superior, expressing doubts that there was any intelligence about Nicaraguan arms shipments to El Salvador’s guerrillas. The superior explained, “It’s there, you just don’t know about it.” That is known as a superior explanation.

And we are prepared to negotiate. We are prepared to apologize for our interceptions in Nicaragua in 1854, 1896, 1912, 1921 and 1926, as well as our support for the previous owners of that nation, if they will apologize for pointing out those interceptions, and for taking over their country without our permission, and for mixing religion and politics. But we have no first apology policy.

Now the Sandinoid propaganda machine tries to tell you that they distributed land and provided free medical care. This is a cynical attempt to make you think they’ve provided their people with things we don’t have here. Last year they tried to convince the American people not to vote for PrezRon. We cannot allow this intervention in our affairs to continue. We cannot permit their oppression of their own people, forcing them to read and eat.

We are also looking into the possibility that American citizens in Nicaragua may have had encouragement from the self-styled government down there to perpetrate their perpetual Thursday demonstrations outside the U.S. embassy there. Highly placed sources who asked to remain highly placed sources indicated that the Sandinites may have given the demonstrators training in calling us imperialists. (As President Ron has said, “In the United States we have to get used to being called imperialists and such things.”)

If this training came from high levels ,it might be found to constitute coercion, and we might be forced, with a heavy heart, to rescue those entrapped Americans. While we’re there, we can fix the airport or anything else that might be broken or might become broken. Or perhaps they need a canal dug.

And as for their so-called elections, they were just a charade. Everyone knew in advance who was going to win.. The Sandinoids don’t mind foisting their charades on the world. They don’t mind what we think and they don’t mind what we say. They’re like little children who don’t mind. And that why we mined. That was not an act of war, when we mined. We were protecting our neighbors from Moscow-inspired Cubistic aggression in Our Hemisphere. And if some of our neighbors say they don’t want to be protected, well that just shows how much they know: too much. Obviously our Latin neighbors are not yet capable of governing themselves—we see to that.

OUR HERITAGE 
The Heritage Foundation has recommended that the United States fund guerrillas in Cambodia, Laos, Vietnam, Angola, Ethiopia, Afghanistan, Nicaragua, Iran and Libya to show the world “that the United States will no longer countenance the subversion or overthrow of friendly governments within the developing world.” (Friendly is defined as those who are, with us, developing the world.).

However, the other self-styled governments are, it turns out, friendly to other governments, which presents a problem when they all gang up on the Truly Friendly Nations, as takes place so often in the self-styled United Nations. For example, there was a recent vote in the UN to publish a directory of dangerous chemicals. The vote was 147 to 1. We voted against, not only because it’s a waste of $89,000, but because that information is available in a thousand other places. Not any one place, but in 1,000 others. Also, such a list might be used to hurt the business of certain companies, and that’s against our principals, not to mention our interest in the matter.

But we are not withdrawing from that group, although we will never say never. It might tip off our adversary as to what we might not do. If not why.