Arizona

Obama, as an immigrant, hates Arizona because it’s in the United States and full of English-speakers. So he’s been trying to fill it up with Mexicans. From New Mexico and other foreign places. You know, New Mexicans are just thinly-disguised Old Mexicans.

So now you can be stopped in Arizona for walking while Hispanic. Which is a problem, and actually Mrs. Justice Sotomayor was down there visiting and she got stopped and asked for her papers. Sadly for her, she didn’t have anything on her, except the constitution.

It turns out most of the cops are against the new “Papers Please” law – it’s too much work. So I think the state is going to find some harder-working cops. Maybe immigrants. They always take the dirty jobs no one else wants.

One word for you: beisbol. A game without a Mexican? Improbable. But there’s talk of a base-boycott. And then the team had the balls to come out as “Los Suns.” What next, Spanglize the name of the state?

One caution: Arizona Iced Tea is not from there. It’s from Long Island. So don’t boycott it. Boycott Long Island Iced Tea.