Levee-gate

We clearly weren’t ready. The storm hit the Gulf Coast like a Walmart.

People without cars were stuck, but the Americans got out. The good people of Katrinia are struggling to recover, but some are making unreasonable demands, like the right of return. That would destabilize the good people of New Orleans, the people with, you know, cars. We’re going to see a better, stronger New Orleans, with a brighter future. With white jazz bands.

People are criticizing the Prez for strumming while New Orleans drowned? He’s not strumming happily. Look closely at the pictures and you’ll see that those are very sad chords—being one fret off from actual chords.

James Reese owns the only private street in New Orleans. He brought in Instinctive Shooting, International, from Israel.  Reese is in Mayor Nagin’s administration, and has said he doesn’t want black and poor people to return to New Orleans. After all, they are the public, and his street is not zoned for them.

This is not a time for finger-pointing;
this is a time for ignoring who allowed this to happen.

The rules mandating 5% of city contracts to minorities have been waived, and presently it stands at 2%. This is because of  W’s approval rating among blacks being down to 2%. It’s down from 19%, since Katrina.  And about that looting down there, you have to be understanding of the situation. Hey, let Halliburton be Halliburton. Those contracts are Big and Easy. And as for those violent gangs, it’s understandable. They were paid to do that in Iraq, now they’re home. Well, not the Israelis, they’re not home. Although, like Americans, they make themselves at home wherever they go.

The President’s appeal to individuals to open their hearts and wallets after he closed the federal wallet on levee strengthening might seem hypocritical. But people should do what they’re best at. The army corps of engineers, that notoriously bloated bureaucracy, thwarting private initiative, that’s what they do. Others just do hypocrisy. This is not a time for finger-pointing, this is a time for ignoring who allowed this to happen.

We will put America’s problems behind us,
where we can’t see them.

Flood control has been a priority of this administration. We’ve devoted a lot of attention to cutting that budget.  Sure, if they  would’ve spent the $208 million on flood control, they wouldn’t have to spend the $26 billion now. But that just gives us a chance to implement our master plan. In a bold, visionary move to rebuild the Gulf Coast, we’ve cut $50 billion in services to the poor.  From the relatively comfy, we’ve cut $70 billion. In taxes. We’re helping out with school vouchers as well. New Orleans will become a beacon, a bold experiment in putting America’s problems behind us, where we can’t see them.

Rest assured, the oil industry cares. They’re going to provide low-cost heating oil for low-cost people. So far, the Venezuelan oil industry is the main participant. By main, of course, I mean only.

But let’s be clear: if you use enough oil to alter the climate, and take the money away from infrastructure maintenance and give it to the war effort, so that when the climate comes calling it wrecks cities and you can’t rebuild them, and the surplus redundant poor people are all driven out, the state doesn’t have any money, and has to make it by selling off schools, hospitals, and public housing—what can I say? Mission accomplished….In all modesty, God did it. But we helped.