Lots of change in the Middle of the East. Well, Libya and Morocco are as far west as western Europe, but when you’re in the global South, you’re really East, you know? Which is convenient, since we can treat you like we did Vietnam, eh? OK, that’s settled.
Things are tense in Libya, but Mr. Gaddafi has really gotten out in front of things, offering to change the national anthem. Which is pretty generous of him, considering that, as his son explained, the protesters are all on drugs and trying to break the country apart, presumably into its two components, Libya and Gaddafi.
The rulers are not so forthcoming in Bahrain, nor in Iran. We call on the Iranian government to stop the use of violence, and we call on the Bahrainian government to continue to be our military base. Since Iran hasn’t been, lately.
We also congratulate the Orderly Military of Egypt for their Orderly Transition to a new Post-Mubarak Order, and hope the rabble will understand that it takes generations to change a pre-democratic culture like theirs, which we supported for them at no extra charge. We had to, because we needed all the democracy for ourselves. Not that we’re using it. We’re saving it, in case we need it later. Like, when our rabble revolts. Then we can offer generous concessions, like changing the national anthem. We can take God out of it. Or move Him from the fourth to the third verse. That’s fucking huge. What more could those Wisconsiners want?!