Everybody loves a party. So I say, let the alleged millions who are partying in Cairo like it’s 1999 – that is, without twitter – go on and enjoy their Sputnik moment. Then when they simmer down, they can get back to business as usual: starving.
As the facebook-induced chaos continues, it becomes clear that what makes it chaotic is that it appears to have no leaders. Appearances can be deceiving: it’s clear to me that it is directed by a joint directorate of Chavez and Kim Il Jong.
The world is rarely fair, but this is a particularly unfair fight. Millions of mobsters are picking on the paltry police. Pick on someone your own size, I say. And stop climbing on tanks to pray. Tanks should prey on the people, not the other way around.
A particularly sinister indicator is the drowning out of “God is Great” chants by those of “Muslim, Christian, we are all Egyptian.” Not only does this formulation discriminate against the complex-chant-impaired, it clearly targets Jews, who, as we all know, wish to be Egyptians too. Everyone wants to walk like that now. We are all Egyptians today, except for Tunisians. And Jews. I expect the Jews and Tunisians to sue, if not invade.
Prime Minister of the Country That Matters Netanyahu has made it clear that not only is Israel the only democracy in the Middle East, but it must stay that way. It’s fine to say 83 million Egyptians deserve democracy, but that will end democracy for the Jewish four-fifths of Israel, the only Four-Fifths Democracy in the Middle East.
Al Jazeera is having its anti-Sputnik moment, having been banned by the non-dictatorship in Egypt, the quasi-authoritarian free market nation of China, and the full democracy of the United States of Comcast.
A final dark portent: fifteen year-olds directing traffic, and better at it than the official traffic cops. Child labor is the first step on the way to sweatshops. So hey, there’s a silver lining here! Sweatshops after all are the most efficient form of production, as long as I own them.
This is Wild Bill saying it’s getting too wild out there, calm down, I’ll do the wilding for you. Go home. I’ll talk to Hosni. He’ll leave in September; I just can’t say which one.